Nobody's shit

Love roots from a place of a rare imperfection. Its the unexpected chaos that sinks into our consciousness. To reflect 

 Dear older me, I hope you still notice the colours in the sky, the chirping of the birds, the beauty that surrounds you. I hope you remember that all that you see becomes a part of you, and that makes you equally beautiful too. I hope you remember to be brave.  I hope you never forget to write. I hope you remember to forgive yourself, you were not born to be perfect. Your life is more than a race, it's a story.  I hope you remember to smile in the face of fear. You have no idea the power it will give you. :) I hope you make someone happier, you learn to be kinder. I hope you are kind to yourself too.  I hope you are able to love someone without any expectations. It's much easier than it sounds. Dear older me, I love you. I am much younger, maybe dumb too. I struggle too much then give up too soon. I always feel alone but only thing that keeps me going is that somewhere in future, you are counting on me. You are a good person, always have been. You don't need someone...

Once upon a time in a crowded town lived a small mind. It was always bullied for its size and remained invisible to most. It used to sit by the river for hours throwing stones in vain. This town was endowed with everything but a mind as big as its competitors. Enormous minds with god speed processors and infinite storage had become quite the trend these days. People in this town would rather be termed "mindless" than own a small brain since the latter may be harmful to their egos. Sometimes our tiny mind wandered to far off oceans and climbed huge mountains looking for a purpose.  Everywhere it felt, "Perhaps, my size is what makes me wonder".

 We live in a world dominated by men. Between men/women/trans, men hold a higher position in our society since ages. What we are now is an outcome of generations of patriarchy. Our language itself is biased towards men, thus we call our species "mankind". In a world like this, where do women/trans people stand. While trans people were almost erased from the society, women acted more like subordinates and their feminine characteristics were looked down upon by men. Their entire existence since ages has been revolving around giving pleasure and an offspring to men. Both are dependant on their beauty and fertility. In the course of their lives all genders grow from childhood to puberty to adoloscence to old age. While old age is hard on all of them, women particularly are frightened by it. Why would something perfectly natural like wrinkles or grey hair, be an embarrassment for a lady but not for a man? Maybe there is an unsaid fear of losing the attention of the dominant specie...

As a kid I used to think that words are the coolest shit ever. They were the only way I could feel less lonely. I could never get enough of them. I used to feel through words one can solve any problem until I couldn't anymore.  Now, at 25, I feel, maybe words aren't as they good as they seem. Maybe words were invented to please others more than oneself. They lose their identity if no one reads them and thats their ultimate truth. I have realised now, that we are all very silent people. We all have nothing to say. We all are disappointed by the nothingness surrounding us. Some fight it to make some noise, some submit to it.  We all are aware of the massive silence that controls us. 

      I am so jealous of normal people, who don't suffer from so much anxiety, who are able to talk nicely to each other, stay in their shitty world without an ounce of curiosity. I wish I was them. I am so rude damnit. I wish I had a lot of friends I could chill with. I wish I could be productive without overthinking productivity and how its an idea propagated by our society because they were too afraid of the capabilities of an idle brain. I hate how I question everything so much that it feels like anything I do is only doomed. I feel so jealous man, of all these people living their little boring lives happily, without any regrets, without any questions. Partying like dumbfucks and imitating each other. I mean I wish I was them. I wish I could just let go that easily. 

 I have been overthinking what to post so much that I ended up not posting anything here. I mean, whats the point even, who cares. People are so busy living their lives making things work and what not, how does it even matter to them. Also the weirdest shit happened, my college friend is getting married on 20th, it's legit the dumbest shit ever. I mean why are people still not done with getting married. Also I think I am gonna kill myself. I won't, obviously. I will just rot on earth. My life is shit.

people are so damn dumb, if only I was a little less lazy I would be called so smart!

 Hey, look at me, I have a blog, that nobody, literally nobody visits so I can just screw it up without any regrets

 Shitposting is the best when you know noone is gonna read it anyway

 I really feel like killing myself right now but sadly I don't have a good enough reason

 once u start travelling u feel its the solution to all your problems however eventually u end up realising that u have wasted a lot of money so now u have one more problem