Silence

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From the gallery of the thirteenth floor, with my hot cappuccino, I filtered out every man in my society in an attempt to find my shade in that scorching afternoon sun. 
As I gazed at the assorted personalities, I reminisced him in those melancholy memories. 
Sometimes, we are just unfortunate, his wrecks make me feel like a bare arrangement of bones and flesh. When I slept with him the first time all I wished for, was to retain him. That day, I just wanted to preserve him, his words, his voice, the perfect him, in me completely.                      
But now, once again, the grave reality snaps me shrewdly from these profound desires. As I pace back in disappointment towards my room, where I am obscure most of the times and I don't have to deceive anyone with a fake smile; I felt a cold sensation on my head.
Eventually, it started raining heavily, and the falling droplets on me, that sound resonated in my thoughts. It was a nostalgic experience. I felt my tears rolling for the first time since he died.
His silence makes me deaf, I feel restless for him. I feel my life has lost purpose. 
I am breathing, the air is all I need, but what if someone is more significant than this air to stay alive?
I was never before this weak, life never felt like a curse to me but his absence, it's like I have lost my shelter, maybe because, I never planned to face such a moment. I am numb, I can't even figure out how I have survived till now.
"Please survive, however worsened is the situation, because I will always be somewhere around adoring you."
Just some words, that are my only hope, if only you are here.

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