Nobody's shit

"It's comfortable talking about money with you," he said. "Usually I avoid it." The first time I thought about money, I was lying on a train berth with my family. I stared at the ceiling, counting things I'd need money for, planning my life at 6. My parents moved houses often. I didn't like packing and unpacking. Landlords hated when I drew on walls. Maybe having my own room to scribble freely—that would be enough. Dad bought an iPod once. I downloaded all my favourite songs in it but it stopped working soon. Someday I have to buy a music player. I need a camera too. Something portable, ready whenever I see something beautiful. And chocolates. Probably about a hundred. Yeah, that feels about right.

My dreams change every hour, my goals are faded, I have no desire strong enough. I don't feel myself. I need to reconnect to myself, who I really am. I used to be so sure about what I wanted, now its just a faint memory. I am scared of who I am becoming, as its no longer in my control. I am a puppet of what is shown to me, what I accidentally clicked and what I couldn't resist. I was stronger than this. My will power, oh my will power, please don't leave me like this. I know I know I know there is no direction thats why you left. I know. I guess currently my direction should be to resist, dear will power. I know there are 500 ways to do everything, and million possibilities. I guess I should focus on doing nothing. Please don't leave me dear.

It sucks how easy it is to lose people for whom you would do literally anything but not those who mean nothing to you. Why do people always take for granted the very people who would actually give a fuck? Why do they always chose to seek validation from random strangers instead who care about nothing but surface level stuff? Its so easy to ruin something they worked so hard for just for the momentary appreciation from people who know nothing about them or their work. The most special friendships, relationships are burnt to ashes overnight for petty reasons. It may seem in the beginning that it wasn't worth it but with time only thing I have learnt is, sometimes, it is worth it to save the friendship/relationship. Some horses in life deserve the extra care for they are designed for longer races.   Irony of life by u/pakgya in sadgirl

Love roots from a place of a rare imperfection. Its the unexpected chaos that sinks into our consciousness. To reflect 

 Dear older me, I hope you still notice the colours in the sky, the chirping of the birds, the beauty that surrounds you. I hope you remember that all that you see becomes a part of you, and that makes you equally beautiful too. I hope you remember to be brave.  I hope you never forget to write. I hope you remember to forgive yourself, you were not born to be perfect. Your life is more than a race, it's a story.  I hope you remember to smile in the face of fear. You have no idea the power it will give you. :) I hope you make someone happier, you learn to be kinder. I hope you are kind to yourself too.  I hope you are able to love someone without any expectations. It's much easier than it sounds. Dear older me, I love you. I am much younger, maybe dumb too. I struggle too much then give up too soon. I always feel alone but only thing that keeps me going is that somewhere in future, you are counting on me. You are a good person, always have been. You don't need someone...

Once upon a time in a crowded town lived a small mind. It was always bullied for its size and remained invisible to most. It used to sit by the river for hours throwing stones in vain. This town was endowed with everything but a mind as big as its competitors. Enormous minds with god speed processors and infinite storage had become quite the trend these days. People in this town would rather be termed "mindless" than own a small brain since the latter may be harmful to their egos. Sometimes our tiny mind wandered to far off oceans and climbed huge mountains looking for a purpose.  Everywhere it felt, "Perhaps, my size is what makes me wonder".

 We live in a world dominated by men. Between men/women/trans, men hold a higher position in our society since ages. What we are now is an outcome of generations of patriarchy. Our language itself is biased towards men, thus we call our species "mankind". In a world like this, where do women/trans people stand. While trans people were almost erased from the society, women acted more like subordinates and their feminine characteristics were looked down upon by men. Their entire existence since ages has been revolving around giving pleasure and an offspring to men. Both are dependant on their beauty and fertility. In the course of their lives all genders grow from childhood to puberty to adoloscence to old age. While old age is hard on all of them, women particularly are frightened by it. Why would something perfectly natural like wrinkles or grey hair, be an embarrassment for a lady but not for a man? Maybe there is an unsaid fear of losing the attention of the dominant specie...